Best friends

Forewarning, I don’t quite know how to word this properly…. but I’m going to try so that I can better understand it myself….

On the topic of Best Friends:

I’ve had quite a handful of friends in my life.. and many more acquaintances to count.. but when it comes to Best Friends, have I ever had one? What does the term ‘best friend’ even mean exactly?
Is it just another label to define another person who becomes close in your life?
Is it the peer you spend the most time with?
Is it someone who shares a similar sense of humor?
Is it someone who you’ve spent your entire life around?
Is it possible to have more than one?
Or is it beyond all that?
Could it mean a special type of connection with someone who knows you entirely from the inside out and even more so after that?
Someone who just ‘gets‘ you; and you ‘get‘ them back…
Someone who would be by your side no. matter. what.
Or is that just a rare phenomenon?
How many people actually get to experience that kind of friendship? Do we even at all?

I have so many questions….. and not enough answers…..

I think I’ve had best friends. In fact, I’d like to consider a few of my current close friends my ‘best friends’. Each one is completely different in their own beautiful way, and I love them and everything that composes them so very much.
A little background on my life… I’ve never grown up around any one group of people, unlike most americans. My family moved around a lot, and for a good chunk of time I was homeschooled and lived on a farm, rather isolated from any contact with peers outside of my computer.  That may sound depressing to you, but it was the childhood experience that shaped me into the person I am today, and for that I am grateful. I learned a lot about myself in my growing years, and I like to say I’m a pretty independent person because of it.
But I hear so often about people who’ve known each other their whole lives… their parents were close friends, and they went to the same preschool together, etc. I will never have the ability to experience such a connection with someone..
The longest friendship I’ve had is about 9 years old now, and we hardly speak anymore.. maybe two or three times a year at most.  Everyone else I know I’ve been acquainted with for maybe 5 years tops. So the close friends that I’d consider my ‘best friends’ I’ve maybe known for an ongoing of 4 years. I call them my best friends because they are those that I love and cherish in this moment. And maybe for me, best friends are just going to come and go in my life like they always have… who’s to say? I can only continually love them for the moments that we experience and have shared together…

I guess, in somewhat of a conclusion, that term means whatever you make out it to be. A best friend can be someone you’ve spent your whole life with, or it could be the chick you met at the library last week who was checking out the same book as you, or it could just be the people you hold dear for the time being in life that you are experiencing. Whatever it may mean to you, love them. Cherish them. Appreciate them. Adore them, and experience every waking moment that you can with them. Because as friends, we are the glue that hold us together.

And that’s what I have to say on the topic of best friends.

Pure Inspiration

 

I just watched one of the most inspiring movies yet. It was a story about a 27 year old woman, who traveled nearly 2,000 miles across desert land with 4 camels and her dog. Watching this movie brought so many thoughts to my mind.

A beautiful young woman. She alone was inspiring. She was strong, honest, and gentle. She trusted easily, and followed her intuition. She had a love for animals. She had a kind of bond that I have yet to experience with an animal of my own..(Don’t get me wrong, I love and have had many animals, I just haven’t experienced such a bond with one.) She was determined, and fought for what she believed in.
She took all the proper steps prior, and lived completely in the moment for what she was doing.  She was accepting of the other cultures, and not knowing their language. She spoke through empathy. She believed in herself. She believed in her goals. She truly lived.

It turns out this story is actually as true as a story gets…
What. An. Inspiration.  Robyn Davidson. This woman is one of my idols.

After watching the film, I looked a little bit deeper into her story. I plan on acquiring her book and reading it for myself.  I aspire so much to live an experience like she did. I often day dream on living in the wild, amongst nature, caring for myself, foraging, and living minimalistically.

The one thing that really gets to me, but I cannot deny this feeling…. is that; I can’t do the same thing as her. I can’t be that person. As much as I want to live her experience.. I just simply can’t. That’s impossible. I’m honestly surprised this story isn’t more well known.
I want to do something so adventurous with my time here on this planet.
It really made me think about who I am, and exactly what I want to do.
It’s almost like Robyn was perfect for that position. Everything in her life led her to that point. She was suited for the role.
My question is, for myself, where is my place?  I dream of an adventure. I want to do good things while I’m here. All I know is that I’m headed in the right direction – I can feel it….  But I want to at least have a defined goal, mission in mind, and adventure planned out. Like Robyn did… But something unique and meaningful, just for me. I know I have one. I just don’t know what it is exactly. How do I take the proper steps if I don’t know exactly where I’m headed?

A part of me thinks that I should know that right now. So that I can start planning, and get on with it….
The hardest part is patiently trusting. I’ve been learning a lot recently.. SO much. I know that I wouldn’t be ready for an adventure like Robyn’s. Not yet anyways. I’m still building my foundation. For now, I’m walking blindly, being led simply by my heart, guided by the universe.

I will say that one thing that really struck me, is realizing that I am open to companionship. From a dog. The right dog. One I can be friends with. One I can trust, and whom can trust me. If nows not the right time for that…. thats okay. There is time. I know one things for sure… A dog companion sets right in my heart. And when the time calls, she will manifest.

“Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time”
– Steven Wright

Social Media Anonymous

 

On the 1st of January, 2016, I am deactivating my Facebook account.

Why? Because I believe social media is irrelevant. I believe that I can live a better life without the influence of Facebook.  And so, I’m going to test that theory.

For how long? At least a year.

I will admit that FB has good qualities, for instance the Events and the Groups. FB can be a wonderful place for social gathering and connecting, as well as advertising and being a place with plenty of inspiration/positivity.

I’m deactivating it because I believe that I can have all of those qualities without the use of Social Media. The internet is a vast and wondrous place, where I can find anything. I’d rather make/keep my connections physically in person as well as phone/email.

–

Social media can be highly addictive, just like cocaine, caffeine or sex. It triggers those ‘happy’ or ‘satisfied’ chemicals within our brain to fire off into multiple directions when we hear the ‘bing‘ of a new notification or message. Sound familiar? *cough* Pavlovian Conditioning *cough* You just have to check it! Instead of people living to fill their own book of experiences, they live to ‘share’ them with the internet world.

I only own a Facebook account, nothing else. It doesn’t simply end there though… Thousands are addicted to other social media websites like Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Reddit, Tumblr, etc. Earlier this year I got into the habit of not using social media at all, and I was just using it for my business, but unfortunately, i fell back into the habit of my previous addiction. It can be one of the most difficult habits to break. Where’s the Social Media Anonymous group??
According to a survey study through Pew Reasearch Center, Young adults (ages 18 to 29) are the most likely to use social media – fully 90% do.
It can be discouraging at times, and a distraction to the outside world…
Many people waste time just scrolling through Facebook for no apparent reason, checking up on the lives of people that they don’t really care about. We could be doing many other things with our valuable time! It can suck the life right out of you through a bendy straw in the form of a meme.

We live in a time where most 13 year olds have an iPhone and at least two social media accounts. They spend their youth posting selfies, and  watching countless amounts of nonsensicle memes and videos. What happened to playing with Barbies and Legos?  What happened to mud pies and homemade igloos? Swing sets and board games? According to a new study from Pew Research Center. “Aided by the convenience and constant access provided by mobile devices, especially smartphones, 92% of teens report going online daily — including 24% who say they go online ‘almost constantly’, More than half (56%) of teens — defined in this report as those ages 13 to 17 — go online several times a day, and 12% report once-a-day use. Just 6% of teens report going online weekly, and 2% go online less often.”

–

And what about the adults? Numerous times I have witnessed a couple out to dinner, staring at their phones rather than each other’s eyes.
How many individuals have you seen video recording a concert rather than fully experiencing it – living in the moment? Too many.
How many times have you heard someone say ‘Wait, do that again so we can post it on FB!’ or ‘Take a photo and tag me in it!’ Way too many…

–

I believe most people have forgotten what it means to live in the moment, for the moment. 

–

Of course, we all know, there was a time where people lived without the internet. How much do you want to bet that their lives were more simple and genuine? They had no choice but to live in the moment, to truly connect with the people and the world around them… for the sole reason of experiencing for themselves the beautiful gift of life. For some people, living this way may seem boring, or redundant because of recent technology… but in my opinion, there is a beauty to that life that most will never experience, because of social media. I’m out to test that theory.

–

If you are reading this as one of my ‘FB’ friends, feel free to follow this blog. I write on here about my views & opinions, my poetry, and over all what I am learning in life.  I haven’t shared this blog with the public yet.. so here goes nothing! Just because I’m deactivating FB, doesn’t mean I’m going to stop writing.

I live to write. It’s my best form of expression.

Blessings to you, Happy Holidays!

 

San Fran Time Warp

Here I am, in the middle of San Fransisco.. one of the country’s most alternative and progressive cities…
Sometimes I really feel like an old amish woman. Maybe i’ve just been tapping into a previous life of mine, but I can’t help to think about how life used to be much more simple, and genuine.. there was a quality to life that many people are missing nowadays…especially in cities like this, where everyone has practically everything handed to them so long as they have the technology installed and a credit card. I can’t help but to imagine what the world is turning into… we’re progressing at such a rate, it makes me wonder what else is possible. What else can be invented with the time we have? How fast can people actually run their lives? When will people slow down? Or will they ever? It seems as if everyone is pretty much sprinting to get to the ideas of tomorrowland… and many are blind to the beauty of the now, in the present moment. Many are forgetting how to do things for themselves. I fear of the future generations not understanding how to use a light switch…

Well, that’s big cities for you..

 

 

The unexplainable, unconditional love of an intimate gathering.

My heart has been with so much love it’s almost unfathomable. I feel such an intense sensation in my heart chakra whenever I think about the occurrences of this weekend.

As I had mentioned briefly in my previous post about my love for chocolate, my family and I attended a local music festival in our area. It was my mother’s, my two brother’s, and my two sister’s very first festival and their worlds have been opened up to a whole new level of understanding. If you have never been to a festival or gathering of sorts, I strongly advise you to go to search the interweb for one that calls to your soul, and then attend. It is life changing, I promise you this. The experiences you will have is worth all the money you will spend on a ticket. (They can get pricey..)You’ll meet people you never imagined existed. You may never see them again. (and that is okay!) Or perhaps you will make a friend whom will hold your hand for a life time. There is so much connectiveness and positivity that flows through the air so gently like smoke from a burning sage bundle.. it’s absolutely beautiful, and it brings tears to my eyes.

I personally prefer a smaller, more intimate gathering over a big huge one (ex. Electric Forest or Wakarusa.) I often attend Harmony Park’s music festivals, or my hometown’s local gathering, Lovefest in the Midwest. So. Much. Love.
Again, if you have never been, please, put the idea on your bucket list!

I fall in love so easily. I choose to keep my eyes open and look at the beauty that is surrounding. I feel so deeply for those whom I connect with on such levels. There’s something within me that screams to me to share what I am feeling. To express my undying love for my brothers and sisters and spirit families. Every where I go, there is a soul who is capable of feeling such a deep emotion as love. Such a misunderstood word, yet its simple meaning is so powerful that no one can truly understand it. There are no words. Only feeling. Sometimes that’s the hardest thing for me to grasp, because words flow out of me so easily… but love is a difficult subject to express because of the complexity and vastness of its meaning. Love is everywhere, all around us, at all given times. You can feel it if you so choose. It’s your human and spiritual right to feel this. Please allow yourself to feel this. It is your choice. A great place to start is by attending an intimate gathering. Let the love flow in and out so fluidly through you like a river with constant motion. So elegant, so crisp, so complex, yet so very simple of an understanding.
Much love to you in all of your time.
Bless and be blessed, my friends.

Mislead beauty turned raw.

There was once a time in my life where I could not leave my house without makeup on. Back then, I was a completely different person… And it wasn’t even that long ago. I look back at pictures of myself when I was 18 and I don’t even recognize myself. I didn’t necessarily wear heavy makeup… Rather, I wore it well. Growing up with a professional photographer for a father, I was usually behind a camera (and still am..). For some reason, there had always been little insecurities whispering in my ear whenever I saw a picture of myself saying how bad the shot was… How weird I looked from the side angle… How my eyebrows should be raised higher than they naturally rested… And then it dawned on me that this was why people got plastic surgery. Where do these whispers of insecurities come from? I knew I wasn’t the only one. I wore makeup so well that it completely changed my face.. The contours.. The highlights.. Oh how I loved lightly smoky-brown eyeshaddow… And that mascara..mm.. Make up art can be fun! But I wore it every day to the extent that I became unfamiliar with my true appearance. I saw this happening.. And I did not want to end up having to apply makeup on my death bed, and I definitely didn’t want to end up like those people with horrible plastic-surgery after effects (because we rarely hear success stories anyways, right!?)  I decided it was now or never. I began to purposefully step out of my comfort zone and accept my birth-given face. Im aware that I’m not ugly.. I respect myself enough to know I am beautiful. The true me was just unfamiliar. It was time to reestablish a good relationship with the natural contours of my cheeks and eyebrows… The veiny look of my eyelids when I was tired.. The slightly flushed-looking pinkness of my skin.. My long dark brown eyelashes.. As well as my rosy cheeks and freckles. I fell in love. My face and I, we still have our days.. But I wouldn’t trade it in for any amount of foundation. Something changed inside me. A simple understanding took place. I am beautiful the way nature intended.. And I hadn’t been able to see that until I look off the layers to truly see the rawness of myself and the depth of those words. Now whenever I put makeup on.. (Sometimes for fun & out of curiosity) I immedietly take it off. I don’t look the same, and I don’t understand why I would want to unfamiliarize myself with myself…  I see other women who were in the same boat on the ocean of misleading beauty as me. I wish for them to one day love their raw beauty. They will take their time just as I did. Its not an easy process. Its difficult, challenging, and ever so rewarding. I will admit that i do occasionally wear a dark red/brown lipstick. (Its fun and for special occasions!) I want to establish an understanding of that I am in no way trying to put anyone down for wearing makeup. Makeup can be worn, it can be fun, and exciting! You, as a reader, have every right and are completely obligated to wear however much makeup whenever your heart desires! My only advice is to never let go of your rawness in exchange for makeup. It was only when I accepted my true nature that I began to uncover the simple complexity of my own inner strength and beauty. This is only just the beginning. Bless and be blessed.